What is Grief?
Grief is a natural response to loss. The way we experience it and express our feelings about the death of someone close can be very individual. Each person’s journey through a difficult period may last from weeks or months. Some may be experiencing short spikes in moodiness that come at unexpected times. Meanwhile, others have more stable periods throughout their adjustment process. This doesn’t mean they’re better equipped.
There are no universal “stages” within grief – what affects one might not necessarily do so another. On the contrary, being expressive about grief doesn’t always equal showing love!
There’s also no set time frame for grief. It could take years before you feel ready again. Although sometimes these upsets occur suddenly when everything else seems to be going well. It is not unusual to experience grief in reaction to other losses. For example, a job change or retirement, the end of a relationship, or even moving to a new house.
Grief is Not Predictable.
It has its highs and lows, just like any other emotion or experience in life. Sometimes we feel better than others. But really it’s all relative to how someone else feels about their own personal situation at this moment.
However there are some commonalities that tend arise with those who suffer through loss. They often find themselves on what feels like an endless roller coaster ride. Sometimes things seem manageable, but quickly turn into more difficulty than expected. This could be because your sense of progress may only appear uneven.
Grief Impacts Each of us Differently
Grief doesn’t just affect your physical being. It also has a huge effect on how you think and feel spiritually, too. For some people who are grieving the loss of someone they love dearly may experience aches or pains in their body. While others might find themselves feeling more religious than ever before because their faith is what keeps them going. Both things happening, completely independently, depending upon where each individual’s journey takes him/her along its complicated path towards healing.
Grief is Full of Different Tasks and Processes
Grief is a challenging process. It is emotional, physical and spiritual response to losing someone close who has died. It can be overwhelming at times but it doesn’t mean the end of connection with that person in your life. Just because you’re going through some challenges right now, we always continue our bond even after they’ve passed away.
Grief is full of tasks and processes that can feel juggling. But it’s important to know there are ways you’ll remember your loved one. You will work on accepting the reality around them in order for yourself. Redefine what matters now without comparing those beliefs with how they were before losing someone close. Readjusting daily routines while also deciding which memories deserve space within these new boundaries is all part of the process. Death doesn’t end relationships. We always continue a bond no matter where our thoughts may dwell during difficult times like grief does.
7 Great Books on Grief
We have put together 7 great books on grief.
Megan Devine says that “Grief is simply love in its most wild and painful form”. Grief is natural. It is appropriate. It is expected.
Helpful Tips when Enduring Grief
A Busy Schedule Helps with Grief
You need to keep yourself busy and engaged in order not to dwell on your sorrow. Friends, activities and other support can form a lifeline that gets you through the pain during this difficult time of loss.
When you’re in the depths of grief, it can seem impossible to move on. But friends and activities will help form that lifeline which gets us through our pain. Just remember not give up!
Take Care of Yourself
Moving your body is the best way to feel good about yourself. Whether you are dancing or walking, exercise will help release tension and keep us healthy. Eating well-balanced meals with an adequate amount of sleep also helps. Our minds stay sharp when we can do what needs doing without becoming overwhelmed by stressors in life. Remember to have fun too!
Write in a Journal
Journal writing is an excellent way to express feelings that may be hard communicate aloud. For example, feelings such as anger or regret. It allows a private space for working through these emotions and experiencing the many stages of grief in peace. Writing in a journal can serve both functions, a release from what’s pent up inside while also being meaningful expression about yourself. Try to keep the tone positive.
Be Open and Willing to Change
In the face of loss, we often yearn for a time when things were different. But as hard and devastatingly sad it can be to let go, we need not dwell on those days anymore because now is what’s important. What you do have control over are your thoughts and actions towards yourself. So make sure that they reflect self love
We have all had those moments where life seemed easier than reality felt lately. Don’t forget about taking care & loving yourself above through the tough times. When we’re struggling, it can feel like giving up is the only way out. But that’s not true! You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for.
“The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.” – Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, On Grief and Grieving
On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss
Authors: Elisabeth Kübler-Ross and David Kessler
Ten years after the death of Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, this commemorative edition of her final book combines practical wisdom, case studies, and the authors’ own experiences and spiritual insight to explain how the process of grieving helps us live with loss. Now with an introduction by Maria Shriver and an additional resources section.
Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s On Death and Dying changed the way we talk about the end of life. Before her own death in 2004, she and David Kessler completed On Grief and Grieving, which looks at the way we experience the process of grief.
Just as On Death and Dying taught us the five stages of death—denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance—On Grief and Grieving applies these stages to the grieving process and weaves together theory, inspiration, and practical advice, including sections on sadness, hauntings, dreams, isolation, and healing. This is “a fitting finale and tribute to the acknowledged expert on end-of-life matters” (Good Housekeeping).